January 21st 2005
We take this opportunity to wish all our fellow pilgrims a Happy and Auspicious Bakr Id (Idul Azha). May we resolve to sacrifice not live goats or camels on this holy day but the goat like and other animal like qualities hidden and also manifest in us, so as to come closer to Allah! Let us relish Biryani and Seviyan not merely as dishes in the house, but in the form of the sweet Love and Grace of our Beloved Bhagawan!
This morning we all assembled in the Sai Kulwant Hall for Darshan. These days, Swami comes out quite late in the morning for Darshan. In the past week, He has been coming out every morning only after 8.30 a.m.
This morning we all sat in the Kulwant Hall waiting expectantly to have the Darshan of our dear Swami. Minutes ticked by, hours ticked by - but there was no sign of Bhagawan's arrival. It was close to 9.00 a.m. and the Bhajans were about to begin. What a contrast this was when compared to the earlier years! We used to rush to the Mandir and our Lord would literally compete with us! At times, He would be out by 6.45 a.m. and would even be inside the interview room when we would arrive at the Mandir.
The Sunday morning sessions used to be so full of delight and joy. Swami would come between the students and the most FAQ was "Emi Breakfastu?" And the usual answer would come, "Idlis and Vada". Then Swami would say, "O Idli, small size!" and smilingly He would show a small circle with His palm!! Then He would go to the Primary School children and enquire about their breakfast. Immediately, there would be a comparison! He would jokingly say, "See, they are getting such good breakfast. Why are you not giving these boys similar breakfast!" All this - just to fill our hearts with immense joy and happiness!
Sitting in the Hall, we were recalling all these sweet memories! Would they come again? Or were we getting so caught up with "toffees and chocolates" that our Lord had decided to remind us about our promotion to higher classes?
Many of us felt that at least now Swami is taking some rest. It is so good!! 78 years of continuous selfless work; every moment thinking, talking and working for the welfare of others. Not one holiday. 365 days - every year - absolute selfless dedicated life in the service of one and all. Did He not deserve this rest? But immediately we realized how foolish we were. Can there be anything called 'rest' in God's dictionary? Would Swami ever think about His own physical body? Unimaginable!! He has given away Himself for the sake of humanity. Incessantly He is burning away His life to light the entire Universe and fill it with the Fragrance of Love and Peace!!
Then why this different phase in the life of the Avatar? Would this continue in the future too? Did it indicate a trend of what was to come in the future? We don't know. We felt a little restless waiting so long for the Lord but then we turned and looked at the devotees. They were here right from the early hours of the dawn. And to add to that, as you may know, they are not allowed to bring in any books or even pens. How were they spending their waiting time? As we saw several devotees sitting in an erect posture, lost in the inner silence, we realized that Swami was possibly ushering us to go inwards and see Him within.
Today is Bakr Id, when the Muslims celebrate the Glory of Allah! Swami too was teaching us the lesson of seeking solace in the Formless aspect of the Lord! Would we have to pray to Swami as Allah this morning, we were wondering! But then, is this not the very purpose of the advent of the Avatar - to take us along by our hand and lead us to the Lord who is right within our hearts and also present everywhere all over the Cosmos!!
As our minds were playing gymnastics with all these arguments and counter arguments, our hearts declared with all firmness - O fool, you can never understand the ways of the Lord! He is beyond the comprehension of your mind and senses. Therefore, do not waste time in all these mental gymnastics! But understand just one Truth! The Lord is absolute Compassion, absolute Love! Whatever He does is for the welfare of the entire humanity - the entire Universe. Hence, surrender to Him and get lost by dissolving in that mighty power!! We then sat calmly allowing the dictates of our heart to take over.
Bhajans commenced. It was 9.25 a.m. Just one more Bhajan to go before we would have the Aarti and return to our homes cherishing the formless aspect of the Lord in our minds. And there, what do we see? Some movement near the entrance of the Poornachandra Hall. The Sevadals folding their hands in worship and then a brilliant flash of orange overpowering the bright sunlight! Bhagawan had decided to shower rain on the thirsty fields of our hearts. The Golf Cart and the orange robe decked Lord, came in like a deluge! Was it a deluge? Was it not the same Golf Cart gliding past slowly? The feelings depend on our thoughts. We were so thirsty that even a drop of water would appear like a gush! Maybe this was the purpose of making Himself less available! To make us realize His value so that we may not waste our time in deep slumber only to awaken very late!
Bhagawan came into the Hall, took a turn on the Ladies side itself and went towards the interview room. He got down from the cart and went into the Bhajan Hall. One more Bhajan, and we were expecting some more. But no, Aarti was given. Swami came out and got into the Golf Cart. He talked to a few people on the way and within six to seven minutes of His arrival, He was on His way back. He disappeared as quickly as He appeared. It was like a mirage. We saw it and before we could grasp it, it was gone!!
Let us all pray to our Lord to Bless us with the Wisdom to accept Him with total surrender and be led by His Divine Hands to play the little roles that are assigned to us in the Divine Cosmic Drama being Directed by Him!!